Friday, 18 November 2011

The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall

This is a bit of a funny story. Probably, as with most stories it was funnier being there, but none-the-less ... hilarious! .. so i'm sharing. I was at the gym the other day with my friend Anne-Marie, tall, skinny, gorgeous girl, but in step aerobics it seems not so co-ordinated. We were mid-step class, most of us had got the routine down and were speeding it up. Anne lost her footing, i didn't quite see whether she tripped over the box or over thin air, but she went down. But no, it wasn't just your average 'You've Been Framed'-esque fall to the floor, she kind of steadied herself on the way down by grabbing the trousers of the girl behind her. But then decided to fall some more, still keeping hold of this poor woman's trousers ... taking them with her .. to the ground. At this point i, in hysterics, carried on with the routine that involved me turning around ... Anne, however, swears this lass had no knickers on .. of any kind. Glad i didn't see to be fair. Who goes to the gym knickerless?! ... mind you she probably could have never imagined that they'd end up round her ankles. I've never seen anyone run from the gym so quick when the class was over, this lass near on ran! Anne and I ended up leaving the gym half an hour late because we were literally bent over, crying with laughter ... made my week .. worth the monthly gym fee alone!

Some of the gems Anne came out with after the epic event:
'i felt mound'
'i saw her vagine' (actually rhyming with machine never heard it called this before).
and just as we were leaving, eventually, she screwed up her face looked at her hands and goes
'ew there's even something under my nail!'

i've told her that she's not going near me in classes again ... and that i'm going to be wearing 3 pairs of pants .. with a belt .. and a padlock.

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul

Yesterday we had a psychology session at work, we did a little bit of a task that got me thinking. The basic premise is that when we are stressed we forget the simple pleasures, ones that don't particularly cost any money. These are things that stimulate the five senses. Most of our pleasures, most of the stimuli that make life worth living, are derived from our five senses. We had to close our eyes and think of our favourite things that stimulate one of our five sesnes. Taste, touch, sight, sound, smell. Just take a second, think of yours. I'm going to list some of my favourite things that stimulate my five senses (some are ones my colleagues came up with but that i agreed with so stolen).

Taste: Chocolate orange, grapes, truffles, yorkshire puddings, lipstick, Pimms.

Touch: Water, a man's hairy chest, play dough, putting your face in that pin toy we all used to have as kids, kisses.

Sight: Bustling city centres, beaches, a man in a suit, snow, tulips.

Sound: Alfie's giggle, Ed Sheeran's voice, David Bowie's voice, being told a funny story by someone who finds it so funny they can't complete what they are saying because they are finding it hard to breath from laughing.

Smell: Roast dinners, Hugo Boss, candy floss, library books, flowers.

These would all put a bit of a smile on my face, so whenever i've got the face on, i shall look at these and try and indulge in at least the one.

Saturday, 5 November 2011

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching

It's that time of year again, Strictly Come Dancing is on! I've always been a bit of a Strictly geek, i've watched it from the very beginning, i know liking the reality shows isn't cool .. but i'm anything but cool. I spend most of October/November/December wishing i'd learnt to dance as a child. I'd love to learn now. I did a dance class for a few years, that i loved, which ended recently but that was girls only, i want to dance with a partner. Preferably a handsome male one. There are many dance classes about where you're partnered, but i'm scared at what the men there would be like, old? pervy? weird? Granted a weird one might suit me.

I think i might need to find a man to take myself. I'm willing to try bribary. I want to learn to do a Tango, an Argentine one. Such an intricate, sexy dance ...however, i feel my briary may have to include a lottery jackpot win. I wish men would realise that there is nothing sexier than a man that can dance (Louis Spence being an exception). Hmmph, if i looked like Ola Jordan or Kristina Rhiannof i'd have no problems finding a parner.

Dance is something we are all born with, stick on something that only vaguely resembles music and my baby nephew springs into action, wiggling around in the cutest of ways, give him 10 years and I bet the most we get out of him is a foot tap. It's not that he learnt to dance, he just knew that that was what he was supposed to do to music. So do it. Dance. Even if you resemble someone having a fit when you do, at least you will probably make someone smile (laugh) that's gotta be a good thing, surely?

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”

-William W. Purkey